People with clean asses

There are those people who have really clean asses. No matter how much shit they pooped (pardon the rather gross analogy) but they always come out smelling like roses.

Me? I get shit on my shoes even when i am waving my pompoms at the other end of the stadium from the toilet.

See... some people are just born into that type of life while others, like me, tread in poo even when trying to avoid it.

What gives?